Disclaimer: The material in this section is intended for education only and should not take the place of medical or psychological assistance.
A traumatic experience can affect your
ability to eat, sleep, feel safe and more.
When a traumatic experience occurs, a person's or community's sense of safety and well-being can be so damaged that normal ways of coping with things cannot be maintained, or don't seem to work. After a traumatic experience, victims may have problems that they did not have before the trauma. It is important to remember that unresolved trauma can live on to negatively affect the mental, physical, emotional, financial and spiritual health of individuals and their loved ones — even for years to come.
Someone experiencing trauma may:
- not be familiar with how trauma can affect their life, and have trouble understanding what is happening to them
- feel like they are "going crazy"
- have upsetting memories such as images or thoughts about the event
- feel as if the trauma is happening again (flashbacks)
- have bad dreams and nightmares
- have a strong emotional reaction to something they see, hear, feel, smell, or taste that reminds them of the trauma
- have anxiety, fear or feeling like they are in danger again
- have angry or aggressive feelings, and feeling the need to defend oneself
- have trouble controlling emotions
- experience difficulty with concentration and memory
People can have physical reactions to a traumatic event such as:
- difficulty breathing, chest pains, or blood pressure problems (immediately consult a physician if you experience these symptoms)
- trouble falling or staying asleep
- feeling nervous and constantly looking out for danger
- being easily startled by loud noises
- discomfort with people coming up behind them
- feeling shaky and sweaty
- a pounding heart
A traumatic experience is upsetting and can cause uncomfortable thoughts, feelings and sensations. People often cope with these feelings by:
- avoiding people, places, and activities that remind them of the trauma (isolation)
- having trouble remembering parts of what happened
- shutting down emotionally or feeling numb
- feeling disconnected from the world as they knew it
- not feeling pain or other sensations
- losing interest in the things they used to enjoy
- staying really busy
It is not uncommon for a person who has been traumatized to experience any, or all of the mentioned behaviors. Because these behaviors only offer temporary relief, the person who has experienced a trauma may develop secondary symptoms such as:
- depression due to losses connected with the trauma
- despair and hopelessness out of fear that life will never be good again
- disruption of belief systems including spiritual beliefs and the idea that the world is good and safe
- difficulty trusting others
- aggressive behavior towards self or others
- self-blame, guilt and shame
- loss of relationships, because others do not understand what they are going through
- Adapted from The National Center for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): Effects of Traumatic Experiences, National Center for PTSD Fact Sheet.
The following are some helpful tips for coping with a traumatic experience:
- Be sure to eat, even in small amounts, and get enough rest and sleep.
- Do things that relieve stress, distract you, or are healing and enjoyable. Even if you don't have a lot of free time, take mini-breaks throughout the day. Ten minutes here and there can help you reduce stress and work through feelings.
- Nurture yourself and allow the "safe people" in your life to nurture and take care of you.
- Don't be afraid to set boundaries with family, friends and work associates. Many people may be unsure about what to do and say around you, but they want to be supportive. Express your wants, needs and feelings.
- Take it slow. An ordinary workload and family responsibilities can feel overwhelming at first. Try breaking large tasks into smaller, more workable parts and take them one at a time.
- Find "safe people" with whom you can share your feelings and reactions about the traumatic experience. Be prepared, however, for some people to not understand what you are going through.
- Limit the amount of time you spend in a day thinking about the traumatic event.
- Know that having symptoms after a traumatic event is not a sign of personal weakness. Give yourself permission to express your reactions in a safe place.
- Ask the police, court system, medical staff, and mental health staff lots of questions. CVVC Counselor Advocates are available to help you better understand and navigate these systems. See more information about advocacy by visiting the Services for Victims and Witnesses page.
- Seek professional help if the effects seem to be too overwhelming.
In times of stress and trauma it can be easy to not pay attention to your mental, physical and emotional needs.
There may be additional reasons, but please seek professional medical or mental health assistance if:
- you are overwhelmed with thoughts of hurting yourself or someone else
- you are crying uncontrollably off and on for three days in a row
- you believe you may need medication to help ease reactions that are taking away your ability to rest, eat properly and have a sense of calmness
Mental health issues you may have had in the past might come back to the surface, or make your ability to cope with trauma-related issues more difficult. Please contact your physician or professional mental health counselor as needed.
If you don't have a medical or mental health resource, please call our 24-Hour Helpline at 412.392.8582 for referral to someone in your area.
Acts of violence and crime can cause a person to grieve the loss of the following:
- physical well-being
- trust in a community or the world as they knew it
- spiritual beliefs (For example: Why did God let this happen?)
- financial stability
- relationships (For example: Being isolated from loved ones who don't understand your pain.)
- death of a loved one
Shock: Being temporarily stunned by a loss or traumatic event is normal. Shock can last for minutes, hours, or even days. Eventually, shock wears off and the reality of the loss and resulting emotions set in. Try to be with people who help you feel safe, or find a place that feels safe and secure.
Emotions: Disbelief, sadness, anger, frustration, confusion, fear and a host of other feelings can arise, some you've never experienced before. Use the support of others to help you understand these emotions.
Depression: Loneliness and depression can be a normal part of grief. Be careful not to self-medicate-turning to drugs, alcohol or other self-destructive behaviors. If intense feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, the inability to stop crying for days at a time, or fear of hurting yourself or someone else continues, get professional help for immediate attention and support.
Physical: Being tired, irritable, having difficulty concentrating, wanting to be alone, or never alone, and changes in appetite and sleep patterns are normal. Pace yourself. Don't take on anything extra. Try not to make additional major decisions or changes during the first six months to a year after a traumatic event if possible. Take time to do something healing or pleasurable for yourself.
Guilt: Guilt or self-blame arise from the effort to sort out the confusion. The feelings of guilt can come from thinking you "should'a, could'a, would'a" done something differently to have prevented the act of violence or death of a loved one. Feelings of guilt involve actions that might have been taken, but were not, because no one has the power to predict the future!
Readjustment: A final stage of the grief experience can be reclaiming the sense of balance that was taken from you as a result of a traumatic event. It will be different from the way you used to feel, but different does not have to be negative. The roller coaster feeling of emotions will begin to lessen over time. Your experience with loss and trauma will become a part of your life experiences, and the painful memories will rise to the surface less and less often and with less intensity. It will be possible to remember the event without feeling like you are reliving the event all over again.
Holidays, anniversaries, birthdays and other special personal or family days of remembrance are usually difficult times for those who have experienced an act of violence. Anytime a traumatic event has caused unexpected changes, including the homicide of a loved one, it is normal to feel sad, anxious and overwhelmed. Keep in mind that the anticipation of the anniversary of your traumatic event, or the special day without your loved one is usually worse than the day itself. Take one day at a time and do the best you can when that day arrives.
People who have experienced acts of violence and crime often remember the day of the event, and the unique details of the event whether they are the victim, or the loved one of the victim.
The following are some ways to cope with people, places, dates or events that remind you of the traumatic event that has impacted your life:
- Anticipate the day. Decide how you might best get through it. Let your family and friends know what you have planned and what they can do to be helpful and supportive.
- Initiate some activity for yourself and don't wait for others.
- Create new traditions or rituals that have meaning.
- Set aside some time for yourself to be alone, or at least spend a few moments with your own thoughts.
- Know your limitations and ask for help, or let others take on some of your responsibilities.
- "Play it by ear" and be flexible. Accept changes and unknown reactions you may have, and learn to take each moment as it comes.
- Buy a candle, trinket, or collectable that has some special meaning for your loved one's memory.
- Create a scrapbook of memories with pictures and personal items.
- Talk about the person who has died.
- Do something of personal meaning for your loved one around special holidays.
- Have a family evening where everyone can share and reminisce about special times with a loved one.
- Prepare your loved one's favorite food to share at a holiday party.
- Buy a gift for your loved one and donate it to a nursing home, church, children's home, or hospital. You can even take something to the gravesite in remembrance.
- Donate some time on a special day to a soup kitchen, nursing home, or similar charity of choice.
- Remember to talk about your loved one so their memory and special presence is with you.
Note: The material in this section is intended for education only and should not take the place of medical or psychological assistance.
Understanding Trauma Coping Tips When to Seek Help Coping With Grief & Loss Planning for Difficult Days
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Unresolved trauma, grief and loss caused by violence and crime are underlying causes of poor mental, physical, emotional, financial and spiritual health. CVVC offers supportive counseling, survivor support groups, and individual and group therapy to help victims move from the darkness of violence toward the light of healing. In addition to the most common reactions to trauma, CVVC is knowledgeable and sensitive to other ways trauma can impact individuals, families and communities of special populations. |
Call CVVC's 24-Hour Helpline if you need help understanding your trauma reactions to an act of violence or crime.
Our staff can answer questions, connect you with CVVC services, respond to your emergency needs and provide referrals.
Your life may be forever changed by an act of crime or violence, but there really is hope that with time you can feel joy again.
Ask for help when you need it. And allow trusted loved ones, friends, and CVVC to help you on your road to healing.
Give yourself permission to express your reactions in a safe place, like in a journal or with a trusted friend.
The most important thing you can do for yourself and your family is to get the help you need.
To build coping skills, allow yourself a certain amount of time everyday to think about the incident. When the time is up, tell the thoughts to go away until you're going to think about them again. This way, you control the feelings, the feelings don't control you!
Attend a CVVC support group and learn from fellow survivors how to cope with your feelings, and move from the darkness violence can bring to your life toward the light of healing.
The anticipation of the upcoming day is usually worse than the day itself. Accept unexpected reactions you may have and learn to take each moment as it comes.
Remember your loved one with special rituals, traditions and gatherings, so their memory and special presence is with you.