Children, too, react to traumatic events. It is important to give them a chance to talk about the event and learn ways to cope with what they are experiencing. Like adults, children need to "vent" (tell their story about what happened) and have their experiences and feelings "validated" by someone who makes it clear that most reactions to terrible events are perfectly normal. It may be up to a trusted adult to start a conversation with a child about what he/she is thinking or feeling. Sometimes asking children what they remember tasting, seeing, hearing, touching, or smelling at the time of the event will give a good clue about what they remember. It can be difficult for some children to put feelings into words. Allowing a child to draw or play with toys are helpful ways for a child to express what they are experiencing. It is always important to keep in mind the developmental stage of the child and not provide them with more information than they are capable of handling. CVVC practices tested and proven interventions approved by the National Institute for Trauma and Loss in Children. Consider connecting the family or child to trained mental health professionals who can provide important information and direct you to support groups, trauma specialists, and other community resources.

A Child Needs…

  1. to know they are not alone and that you can protect them
  2. to know that what happened was not their fault
  3. to hear stories about other children and see other children's reactions
  4. to have the opportunity to express their fears and emotions
  5. to be educated that their reactions are normal
  6. to seek trauma-specific help for ongoing symptoms
  7. to move from reactions of terror and sadness to a sense of hope

  • Your child may have a shaken sense of safety and security.
  • Your child may return to behaviors she or he engaged in years earlier- for example: thumb sucking, clingy behavior, bedwetting, and nail biting.
  • There may be differences in your child's personality and disposition - acting very differently for a period of time.
  • Your child may become irritable, aggressive or display "acting out" behavior.
  • Your child may withdraw and want less to do with their friends.
  • Your child may have trouble sleeping, and be afraid to sleep alone or be left alone, even for short periods of time.
  • Your child may have headaches, stomach problems, fatigue or other ailments they didn't have before.

  • Understand and Be Patient - Your child will need time to feel safe again. Don't push your child to change or stop regressive behaviors (acting younger than their age) until you have consulted a trauma specialist.
  • Be Nurturing - Increase the amount of time you spend with your child. Respond to your child's basic needs by providing rest, comfort, food, and opportunities to play.
  • Limit Exposure - Reduce the amount of time he/she watches television or news reports about a particular traumatic event.
  • Keep It Simple - Do not expect too much. Do not introduce new challenges. Maintain a routine.
- Adapted from Publications/Materials of Dr. William Steele


Children's Books

  • Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teens Safe, by Gavin DeBecker

  • When Your Child Is Afraid, by Dr. Robert Schachter and Carolee Spearin McCauley

  • A Volcano in My Tummy, Helping Children To Handle Anger, by Elaine Whitehouse and Warwick Pudney

  • Children Changed by Trauma, A Healing Guide, by Debra Whitney Alexander, Ph.D.

  • Bereaved Children and Teens, by Earl A. Grollman

  • Brave Bart, by Caroline H. Sheppard, ACSW

  • When Someone Very Special Dies, by Marge Heegaard

  • When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death, by Laurie Krasny Brown and Mark Brown

  • Goodbye Mousie, by R.H. Harris

  • Sad Isn?t Bad: A Good-Grief Guidebook for Kids Dealing with Loss, by Michaelane Mundy

  • When Someone Very Special Dies, by Marge Heegaard

  • 35 Ways to Help a Grieving Child, by Dougy Center for Grieving Children

  • What on Earth Do You Do When Someone Dies?, by Trevor Romain



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