Call CVVC's 24-Hour Helpline if you need help understanding your trauma reactions to an act of violence or crime.

Our trained, caring staff can answer questions, connect you with CVVC services, respond to your emergency needs and provide referrals.



Conflict is a part of everyday life. Whether it's an argument with a friend, aggravation with your parents, or frustrations with your teachers, we see conflict everyday. We can't always avoid conflict, but we can learn to handle it without violence.

Many people can think of only two ways to manage conflict - fighting or avoiding the problem. Get the facts straight. Use your imagination to think up ways that might help resolve the problem. You can handle it in a non-violent way - you've just got to be a thinker!

There are three behavior styles, or personalities, that people usually show when faced with a conflict. Check these out and see which one is most like you.

Non-assertive (mouse)

  • Low self-esteem
  • Feels like they are not important
  • Always give in when disagreement occurs
  • Avoids conflict/unpleasantness at all cost
Aggressive (monster)
  • Only care about themselves
  • Hard/tough attitude
  • Reacts without thinking about the consequences
  • Attack and put others down
  • Blames others for the way they feel
Assertive (thinker)
  • Sticks up for themselves without hurting others
  • Express themselves honestly and directly
  • High self-esteem
  • Compromises when possible without compromising values
  • Thinks before reacting

None of these personalities are all good or all bad, however, being a THINKER is most appropriate in all situations!

Here are 5 steps you can use to resolve conflict!

Step one - Calm Down!

  • You cannot solve a problem when you are emotionally upset about it. Calming down does not mean you're getting rid of the anger - it simply gives time to think and respond rationally instead of reacting to your feelings!
Step two - Name the Problem!
  • In this step, you are being very specific about why you're upset. Being specific about the problem helps you to find more effective ways to resolve it.
Step three - Think of Solutions!
  • This is the time to think of all the ways - both good and bad that you can think of to help solve the situation.
Step Four - Weigh the Ideas
  • Once you have thought of the solutions, use this step to weigh the consequences of all those solutions! ("If I do this…this will happen, but I don't want that to happen, so I will think of a different solution.")
Step Five - Choose a Plan
  • Based on ALL the solutions from step three, choose the one that will help you get the most positive resolution to your problem!