Call CVVC's 24-Hour Helpline if you need help understanding your trauma reactions to an act of violence or crime.

Our trained, caring staff can answer questions, connect you with CVVC services, respond to your emergency needs and provide referrals.



It hurts to lose someone we care about, especially if it's to crime or violence. Don't keep all the feelings inside - there are people who can help you get things back to "normal."

Bill of Rights for the Grieving Teen

  1. You have the right to your own feelings. Others may tell you how you should feel, but they can't possibly know what you are experiencing.
  2. You have the right to express your feelings and to expect support for what you are going through.
  3. You have the right to be comforted by family and friends, even when they do not understand your pain.
  4. You have the right to be an integral part of the funeral ritual if you so desire.
  5. You have the right to ask questions about your pain and loss and to expect that you will not be deceived or treated as a child.
  6. You have the right to be treated as a unique individual.
  7. You have the right to be who you are and not be measured by another's standards.
  8. You have the right to grieve until you are ready to bring closure to the relationship that was stilled in death.
  9. You have the right to expect professional counseling to deal with any guilt that may be real or imagined.
  10. You have the right to share your personal journey through the valley of grief in order to be comforted and to comfort others.
Here are some suggestions to remembering a loved one lost to violence:
  • Buy a candle, trinket, or collectable that has some special meaning for your loved one's memory. Create a scrapbook of memories with pictures and personal items.
  • Talk about the person who has died.
  • Do something of personal meaning for your loved one around special holidays.
  • Have a family evening where everyone can share and reminisce about special times with a loved one.
  • Prepare your loved one's favorite food to share at a holiday party.
  • Buy a gift for your loved one and donate it to a nursing home, church, children's home, or hospital. You can even take something to the gravesite in remembrance.
  • Remember to talk about your loved one so their memory and special presence is with you.
  • A sudden or tragic death can also be known as a "Trauma." Below are some common signs and symptoms of trauma, as well as what you can do to cope.
Someone experiencing trauma may:
  • not be familiar with how trauma can affect their life, and have trouble understanding what is happening to them
  • feel like they are "going crazy"
  • have upsetting memories such as images or thoughts about the event
  • feel as if the trauma is happening again (flashbacks)
  • have bad dreams and nightmares
  • have a strong emotional reaction to something they see, hear, feel, smell, or taste that reminds them of the trauma
  • have anxiety, fear or feeling like they are in danger again
  • have angry or aggressive feelings, and feeling the need to defend oneself
  • have trouble controlling emotions
  • experience difficulty with concentration and memory
The following are some helpful tips for coping with a traumatic experience:
  • Be sure to eat, even in small amounts, and get enough rest and sleep.
  • Do things that relieve stress, distract you, or are healing and enjoyable. Even if you don't have a lot of free time, take mini-breaks throughout the day. Ten minutes here and there can help you reduce stress and work through feelings.
  • Nurture yourself and allow the "safe people" in your life to nurture and take care of you.
  • Don't be afraid to set boundaries with family, friends and work associates. Many people may be unsure about what to do and say around you, but they want to be supportive. Express your wants, needs and feelings.
  • Take it slow. An ordinary workload and family responsibilities can feel overwhelming at first. Try breaking large tasks into smaller, more workable parts and take them one at a time.
  • Find "safe people" with whom you can share your feelings and reactions about the traumatic experience. Be prepared, however, for some people to not understand what you are going through.
  • Limit the amount of time you spend in a day thinking about the traumatic event.
  • Know that having symptoms after a traumatic event is not a sign of personal weakness. Give yourself permission to express your reactions in a safe place.
  • Ask the police, court system, medical staff, and mental health staff lots of questions. CVVC Counselor Advocates are available to help you better understand and navigate these systems.
  • Seek professional help if the effects seem to be too overwhelming.